A Lesson In Politics
Friday June 09th 2006, 1:34 pm
Filed under: Politics

One day a son asks his dad, “What can you tell me about politics? I’m supposed to learn about it for school.”

The father thinks for a moment and replies, “Well son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let’s say that I’m the capitalist because I make the money. Your mom will be the government because she controls everything, the maid will be the working class because she works for us, you get to be the people because you answer to us, and your baby sister will be the future. Does that make sense?”

The boy said, “Well, Dad, I’m not sure. I’ll have to sleep on it and let you know.”

That night, after the family had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby sister’s crying. He went to check on her and discovered that she had a dirty diaper. So the boy he went down the hall to his parent’s room and found his dad’s side of the bed empty and his mom wouldn’t wake up. He saw a light on in the guest room down the hall so he went to check it out. When the boy reached the door, he saw through the crack that his dad was in bed with the family’s maid. The boy turned around and went back to bed.

The next morning, the boy said to his dad at the breakfast table, “Dad, I think I understand politics now.”

“Excellent, son,” he answered, “What have you learned?”

The boy thought for a moment and said, “I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep and ignoring the people, and the future is full of shit!”

Tipper Gore
Monday March 07th 2005, 2:35 pm
Filed under: Politics

At a press conference today, Tipper Gore announced that she’s going back on the Campaign Trail with her husband, former Vice President Al Gore.

“To prepare myself,” she said, “I have shaved off all my pubic hair. From now until the election, I shall sit on the stage with the former Vice President, and may occasionally flash my legs apart without wearing any panties. This will send a strong message to America.”

“What is that message?” gasped astonished reporters at the news of this rather startling announcement.

To which Tipper replied, “Read my lips, no more Bush.”