Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there thinks you’re a fat skank.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you’d be on your knees greeting my crotch.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.
Man: That’s cool, ’cause after I’m done nailing you in the back of my car, I don’t give a crap where you go.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I can always withdraw onto your face.

Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: No!
Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.

1. It is important to find a woman, who works around the house, occasionally cooks and cleans and who has a job.

2. It is important to find a woman who makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a woman who is dependable and doesn’t lie.

4. It is important to find a woman who’s good in bed and who loves to have sex with you.

5. It is important that these four women never meet!