There was this church that had a very big busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played and they distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled – something had to be done about them or they would have to get another organist. One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to put alum on them and maybe they would shrink in size. She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister stood up in the pulpit and said, “Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol , we will not hath a thermon today.”