Great Presentation Skills = Able to bullshit

Good Communication Skills = Always on the phone

Average Employee = Not too bright

Exceptionally Well Qualified = No major blunders (yet)

Work is First Priority = Too ugly to get a date

Active Socially = Drinks a lot

Family is Active Socially = Spouse drinks, too

Independent Worker = Nobody knows what he/she does

Quick Thinking = Offers plausible excuses

Careful Thinker = Won’t make a decision

Agressive = Obnoxious

Uses Logic on Difficult Jobs = Gets someone else to do it

Expresses Themselves Well = Speaks English

Meticulous Attention to Detail = A nit picker

Has Leadership Qulaities = Is tall or has a loud voice

Exceptionally Good Judgement = Lucky

Keen Sense of Humor = Knows a lot of dirty jokes

Career Minded = Back Stabber

Loyal = Can’t get a job anywhere else